John, the CEO of XYZ Corp., was extremely frustrated. He lashed out at Bill, his chief operations officer, “We’ve waited long enough — if we don’t act now, we’ll lose market share to ABC Co. Stop dragging your feet!”
Bill, who recognized the new product launch was now three weeks behind schedule, felt his blood pressure rising. His first sense of how to respond was to “let his boss have it!” After all, it was the CEO’s endless list of other urgencies that had exacerbated the problem.
Other members of the executive team in the room visibly cringed. They had seen this play out before; lots of shouting and recriminations before the two top executives stormed out of the room, followed by the silent retreat of everyone else.
But something different happened on this day.
Bill let a few seconds pass, then looked his boss in the eye, and said, “John, I know this has been weighing on you. I share your frustration — we both want to get the new product launched. Would you be OK with taking a few minutes to examine together what still needs to be done and how to do it?”
The CEO then settled back into his chair. He responded, “Well, if you agree that the launch must occur within the week, I guess I’m OK with talking through things.”
Without any noticeable change in demeanor, Bill replied, “Here’s what we are dealing with. …” He then laid out the project plan for the launch, where they stood at that time and the conflicts the launch team was facing. John raised questions regarding the impact of several other activities within the product launch. Other executives in the room gave their frank assessment of both the project and the distractions they had been juggling.
Bill then focused on what I call, “the therefore, what?” Again, looking into the eyes of the CEO, he said, “John, with your help, I think we can figure out the next steps that we can all feel good about.”
At this point, the cortisol level in the room had noticeably dropped and collectively the group agreed on the path whereby the product would be launched within the next 10 days. John agreed that several other urgencies would be tabled during that time frame.
As the meeting concluded, Bill again focused his full attention on his CEO, saying, “John, thank you so much for working through this with us.” John exchanged a smile; he was visibly pleased with the outcome of the meeting.
As for the other executives in attendance, their reaction was summed up by the marketing director. He incredulously asked one of his colleagues, “What just happened here?”
What happened was that one of the typical combatants in nasty company conflicts, the COO, had changed his perspective. Instead of either fighting, or fleeing, he applied a step-by-step framework for problem-solving, called the 5R Method.
Here’s what the 5R Method consists of:
1. Recognize the Emotion. Bill acknowledged John’s frustration and validated it by sharing his similar concerns. Acknowledging emotion doesn’t mean you agree, but it does open the door for dialogue.
2. Reaffirm Shared Intent. Bill affirmed the importance of the product launch, aligning himself with John’s desire. This disarmed the typical power struggle between the CEO and COO, putting them both on the same side of the table.
3. Reframe the Conversation. By asking for the CEO’s permission to “examine together what still needs to be done, and how to do it,” Bill gently redirected the conversation from confrontation to collaboration.
4. Respond with Clarity and Respect. Without any noticeable change in demeanor, Bill shared what the launch team was dealing with, encouraging inputs from John and the other executives in the room. They each stated their positions clearly, but without blame, focusing intently on how to accelerate the product launch. Their feedback was fact-based and forward-looking, not personal.
5. Resolve Together. How the meeting ended was important. It answered the question, therefore, what?, moving toward resolution. And, appreciation was expressed by Bill for John, his typical adversary.
The impact of this meeting was far-reaching. It set a new standard for how problems should be solved in a collaborative manner.
How did Bill come to make this change? He decided that the company culture had to change — and that he would take ownership for that change. Studying various problem-solving ideas, he came across the 5R framework. It is a synthesis of research and practices in emotional intelligence, nonviolent communication and high-stakes leadership dialogue. For those like Bill, who will take full ownership for problem-solving, it is an effective model.
Richard Tyson is the founder, principal owner and president of CEObuilder, which provides forums for consulting and coaching to executives in small businesses.