You know that feeling you get at work every day around 1 p.m.?
That feeling that comes after a morning dealing with cranky clients and annoying co-workers? Followed by a lengthy lunch so full of fats and carbs that you can feel your clothes tightening as you slow-march back to work and fall into your cozy Aeron chair? And all you want to do is let your eyelids shut and take a much-needed, much-deserved snooze?
You don’t do it, of course. The sight of you snoring away at your desk during office hours would have a negative effect on your career, or so you think. But guess what? You’re wrong! Taking that nap could actually save your career. And if you doubt me, I have one word for you:
Harvard.
That’s right, Harvard. As in the highly respected Harvard Business Review, where Professor Christopher Marquis recently asked a highly respected question, “Is This a Moment for Strategic Hibernation?”
And that, doubters, is what should motivate you as economic temperatures drop and management optimism freezes. Yes, career winter is arriving in force. If you hope to survive, it’s time to crawl into your cave for a few months of shuteye.
According to Marquis, strategic hibernation is “a seasonal retreat that allows companies to preserve mission-critical capabilities during hostile political and cultural cycles and then quickly ramp up again when the tide turns.”
How does this apply to you? Here are three strategic steps that will let you sleep safely through the harsh winter ahead and wake up to a brighter, safer spring.
No. 1: Hide in Plain Sight.
Sometimes, in business, public opinion turns against your project or product. This can be driven by politicians, media figures or just bad timing. (Here’s looking at you, Buffalo Wild Wings’ Mountain Dew Wings.) Corporate hibernators put such controversial efforts in hibernation until public sentiment moves on and the effort can immediately resume. (Here’s looking at you, New, Improved Buffalo Wild Wings’ Mountain Dew Wings.)
If you think management sentiment has turned against you, suppress your natural impulse to work harder, initiate new projects and make yourself more visible. Instead, pump the brakes, keep your head down and stay below the radar.
To make yourself scarce, find an excuse to visit your most distant client or do a surprise drop-in on that plant in Burnt Corn, Alabama. You could also sign up for one of those training programs HR is always pushing. Or, instead of waiting patiently for someone to come to your office and upgrade your computer, take your laptop to the IT department, if you can find it, and wait. It will keep you off the grid for hours.
Remember the basic rule of corporate survival: If they can’t find you, they can’t fire you.
No. 2: Sleep With Your Eyes Open.
One problem with strategic hibernation is that you might sleep through a significant corporate change of direction. You don’t want to wake up prematurely and be hit by a major blizzard.
If there’s a conference room nearby, listen for bursts of laughter — a bad sign — as executives compete to see who will announce the biggest layoffs. Also, check if the location of corporate retreats changes from The Four Seasons to Chuck E. Cheese. Most importantly, observe subtle changes in the lifestyles of upper management. When 5-inch Louboutins are replaced by HOKAs and Rivians are swapped for Kias, there’s trouble ahead.
No. 3: Watch What You Wear.
A key element of strategic hibernation is “being disciplined about external visibility.”
If your company has spirit wear, this is the time to wear it. I’m not saying it would have saved the business, but I’m sure employees wearing Enron sweatshirts and drinking from Enron coffee mugs were the last to go.
While being seen in the office wearing company spirit wear is good, you could go further. Find out the college attended by your most senior manager. You’ll get a warm welcome and maybe a career lifeline when the boss sees you wearing a Texas Christian University sweatshirt.
“I didn’t know you rooted for TCU,” they will say.
“Go, Horned Toads,” you answer. Then you can go back to sleep.
If all else fails, find the nearest supply closet and crawl in. It may be cramped, but you can sleep there undisturbed until winter ends and you wake up to a glorious spring with daffodils blooming, trees budding and the sunny warmth of career opportunity and job security for one and all.
Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at
bob@bgplanning.com
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