By Robert Pembroke
No matter what type of entity you run, it is critical that you use your capital to achieve the best possible return on investment (ROI). I question how our local government agencies are spending our taxpayer dollars on our “homeless problem.” The Salt Lake City Council of 1908 wisely spent the taxpayers’ money and achieved an excellent ROI.
Dora Topham was an Ogden businesswoman who ran a brothel. Her customers called her — for unknown reasons — Belle London. In 1908, the Salt Lake City Council recruited Belle to run a brothel for them. The Stockade, built by the city, was a 100-room venture that Belle operated and she rented out the rooms to prostitutes. The operation was very successful and a lot of cash was pouring into Salt Lake City’s coffers.
Then there was a hiccup and Belle was convicted of soliciting young women to join the trade. The Utah Supreme Court overturned the ruling and Belle, along with the city council, continued on their wayward money-making ways. I have always wondered if any of the members of the Utah Supreme Court where clients of Belle's.
Our local politicians — city, county and state — are attempting to do a similar thing in Salt Lake but they are not as entrepreneurial as was the 1908 Salt Lake City Council. They have built a mega-Stockade, not for prostitutes but for the homeless, on the corner of 200 South and Rio Grande Street. The big difference between this facility and the Belle facility is that our present-day political elites do not charge rent.
I Googled “Which government agencies make money?” and came up with a whopper. The Federal Export-Import Bank made $425 million in profits in 2016. The purpose of the bank is to help American businesses sell their products and services overseas. Guess what? For some unknown reason, our present-day federal lawbreakers are trying to do away with the Federal Export-Import Bank.
Since 1970, the University of Utah has created over 270 spin-off companies from technologies developed at the university. I have first-hand knowledge of a University of Utah professor who capitalized on the work of his students. There is nothing illegal about professors and/or administrators at the University of Utah stealing ideas from their students and making a profit.
Let’s see if we can’t figure out a business plan for the Salt Lake City Council’s mega-Stockade. I was taught that in order for a business to prosper, it must attract first-class management. Attracting first-class management is not easy and very costly to your stockholders if you make a mistake.
Big George, one of the homeless, is the ex-officio mayor of Rio Grande. One of the ex-officio mayor’s sidelines is selling clean needles to the homeless. In chatting with and watching Big George at work, I deemed he definitely is a master at his trade. Big George would be the perfect manager of Salt Lake City’s mega-Stockade.
If you want to satisfy the needs of his homeless, you must have booze and drugs readily available. Let’s have Big George set up a Uber-like business that has rolling vehicles stocked with booze and drugs. Then, all a homeless person has to do to get a hit is to go on his very fancy mobile device — provided by the city at no charge — and place his order online.
Competition makes the world go around. The city is currently subsidizing “Ralph Becker & Son Bikes.” Former Mayor Becker and his son have purchased a lot of green bikes, built bike racks and are collecting the revenue. Big George and the city could run their own bike venture where the bikes are not in racks but equipped with technology that allows a customer to locate the nearest bike and, with a few clicks on their very fancy mobile device, could go on their merry way.
These two ventures, “Booze and Drugs on Demand” plus “Bikes at Your Fingertips,” will help fill the city’s coffers and cut our taxes.
Robert Pembroke is the former chairman and CEO of Pembroke’s Inc. in Salt Lake City.