By Christine Cramer
One of the most difficult things to navigate is when it may be time to move into a senior living community — especially if you’re an adult child and have started to notice that your aging parent may require assistance with the activities of daily living. From broaching the subject with family to finding the community best suited to meeting needs currently and long-term, there is a lot to consider.
If you’re wrestling with this subject, you’re not alone. Every day, seniors as well as their spouses, adult children and family members are delving into the “when, what, where and how” questions that accompany this complex topic. What may be most helpful is breaking this seemingly substantial issue into three stages: preparation, exploration and execution.
Preparation
While each person’s individual needs when searching for senior living differ, the fact remains that the end goal is usually the same: finding peace of mind, comfort, safety and a fulfilling lifestyle. So, how do you start preparing?
Make a list — or two. What is most important to you in your lifestyle? Convenient proximity to shopping, entertainment and medical centers? A location near children and grandchildren? Or amenities and services you use regularly, such as fitness center, salon and fine dining? Are you looking for more support and care services as you or your loved one ages? The point is, what do you need easy access to to ensure you can live the life you most desire?
You may want to make a list of questions you have regarding senior living. To get you started, consider the following: Is there an entrance fee and is it refundable? What’s included in the monthly service fee? What’s services are at an extra cost? What activities and programs are offered daily? Do you have to move apartments as your needs grow or change? Is there a second charge for a spouse? Are pets allowed?
Start the conversation with your loved one. The earlier you do this, the better. Studies show that seven out of 10 seniors will require long-term care. Instead of waiting until you’re dealing with a crisis situation, proactively address the subject with your spouse or parent(s). By approaching the conversation with honesty and care, you’re likely to have a productive and harmonious outcome.
Keep in mind that aging, loss of independence, declining health and memory loss can be sensitive subjects and conversations surrounding them can be emotionally charged. But imagine just how much more emotional they will be if you’re trying to tackle the conversation in the middle of handling an issue or emergency.
When is it time to consider moving to a senior living community? Is keeping up with the demands of homeownership exhausting? Are you feeling lonely or isolated? Have you started to notice Mom is not keeping her house as clean as she once did? Is Dad forgetting when and how to take his regular medication? Or perhaps you or your loved one are feeling simple tasks such as grooming and dressing are becoming more challenging.
Honest answers to questions like these often are a great start to the larger conversation and aid in the next steps in your search.
Exploration
So, you’ve determined it is time to explore your senior living options. But just how (and where) do you start your search? Based on the needs and preferences you or your parent(s) determined in questions asked earlier, you can start your search online. Not only does the Internet provide you with a tremendous amount of information about available communities, it does so in a non-committing, non-threatening way. Share what you find with your loved ones and together whittle down options before scheduling a personal tour of the communities on your list.
Once you have a short list of communities, call to schedule a personal tour and inquire about joining some residents for lunch or dinner. You’ll get a real feel for the community and learn a lot by speaking with the people who already call it home. Make sure after each visit, you cross reference with your list of must-haves. Does it meet all (or most) of your needs? What did you enjoy most when touring? Would you or your parent(s) feel right at home here?
What should you look for in an assisted-living community? If you or your loved one needs more support than independent living offers, make sure you dig deeper to find out how they engage and support their residents. Ask what supportive services and care is included in your monthly fee. Do fees change as your needs do? Additionally, you’ll want to explore how the assisted-living community enhances residents’ lives to encourage independence, dignity and living life well. Do they incorporate the “six dimensions of wellness” (which are physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, occupational and social) to ensure residents are receiving whole-man health and wellness?
What resources are available to provide care? In addition to engaging the whole person, you will want to find out how they provide and deliver care. Do they provide all services in the community and/or do they work with outside agencies (such as rehabilitative or hospice care) for additional services. Be sure to also ask how they hire and train their caregivers and how they deliver care to residents.
Execution
You’ve done your due diligence. You’ve located the senior community that’s just right for you or your loved one. While some of the more difficult work is done, keep in mind that change can be difficult and downsizing from a life-long home and transitioning into a community can be overwhelming. Reach out to the community you’ve chosen for help. They often have resources that can make the transition simpler, such as packing and moving professionals.
You may also want to ask what programs and activities you might be able to join in before you or your loved one moves into the community. It may help to make the transition easier and help you or your loved one to get to know residents and staff sooner. And once you move in, don’t hesitate to reach out to your community’s staff if you have questions or concerns. They are there to help make you feel at home.
Christine Cramer is national sales specialist for MBK Senior Living in Salt Lake City where she supports 33 senior communities in the Western U.S.