Bob Goldman
Is that a dark cloud of gloom hanging over your workspace?
I knew it!
Why else would you stop what you’re doing to find out what this idiot has to say?
And what this idiot says is that you need to read “4 Ways to Turn Around a Bad Day,” Jancee Dunn’s hopeful column in The New York Times.
The turnaround starts with clinical psychologist Susan Albers, who believes “your day may start off badly, whether than means a rough morning meeting, unwelcome news or a stranger being rude, but you often have the ability to create a different ending.”
Of course, if the rude stranger is your manager, and the rough morning meeting will be repeated at lunch time and after-hours, too, creating a different ending may be difficult. Luckily for you, I have used Dunn’s expert analysis of expert advice to create four of my own strategies for bringing a little sunshine into your gloomy day.
Come on, grumpy puss. Let’s get happy!
No. 1: Put the incident into context.
Did your bad day start with a “salty conversation”?
“Respond, rather than react” is the advice of professor of communication Michael Lee.
Good advice. As a mature, accomplished adult, your natural reaction would be a major sulk, which would only expand when none of your closest work friends realized you were sulking.
Instead of reacting, respond by interrogating yourself with questions such as “Is this really about me, or is it about them?” and “How much weight do I give their words?”
If the person giving you a hard time is from the IT department, every word should weigh 500 pounds. An IT person can flip a switch and you’ll never again spend another productive afternoon making sky castles in Minecraft. If the person is your manager, those salty words should be as light as a feather.
Remember — managers do not feel their work is done unless all their direct reports are miserable. By showing your manager they are able to ruin your day without a whole lot of effort, you’re exactly the kind of person they’ll want to keep around.
No. 2: Switch things up.
When a dark day descends, Dunn recommends a “sensory change.”
“Take a hot shower,” she suggests, “or light a scented candle.” (Note to self: Don’t light a scented candle in the shower — it just doesn’t work.)
By activating mood-enhancing chemicals in your brain, exercise is another way to turn that frown upside- down. This is especially true if the exercise you choose is walking out the door and starting a new job.
A half-hour of jumping jacks at your desk can also boost the heck out of your mood-enhancing chemicals. Encourage your depressed co-workers to start doing jumping jacks, as well.
The sight of your entire office jumping and clapping in perfect synchronicity should give upper management a scare that will make their day even more miserable than yours.
No. 3: Give yourself little rewards.
Princeton Neuroscience Institute assistant professor Annegret Falkner reports that “giving yourself little intermittent rewards during a difficult experience can make it less stressful than a large reward after.” So, instead of suffering through a miserable day at work until you can go home and do something positive and life-affirming, like kicking the refrigerator, intersperse your bad day with little treats, like going out for ice cream, or turning on the office sprinkler system or taking a trip to the zoo (or if there’s no zoo handy, a trip to the marketing department will work).
The mini-rewards concept works well with me, though some may feel uncomfortable knowing that Falkner’s ideas come from “studying stress and resilience in mice.”
I see this as a plus.
Consider your management team. No one rises higher, faster, than a resilient mouse.
No. 4: Set up an emotional first-aid kit for next time.
Prepare a file that you can turn to when your day turns sour.
Fill it with all the positive reviews you’ve received from managers praising your work. Don’t have any? Well, at least you’ve got a file ready if you ever do.
You could also start a scrapbook with pictures of the cars, clothes and vacation trips you can’t afford. Add copies of your busted budgets and past-due credit card bills.
This won’t improve your bad day, but it will remind you why you’re working in first place. If that doesn’t make you feel better, take two jumping jacks and call me in the morning.
Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com.
COPYRIGHT 2024 CREATORS.COM