Bob Goldman
When it comes to doing your job, you’re productive, responsive, cooperative, creative, caring, supportive, enthusiastic and loyal.
In short, you’re crushing it.
And what do you get as a reward for all this hard work?
You get a new boss — a new boss who represents a new layer of management between you and your old boss, who you thought really likes you, but, apparently, hates your guts.
You haven’t been fired. It’s worse.
You’ve been layered.
I learned that “getting layered” is a thing in “When a New Layer of Management is Hired Above You,” an article by Melody Wilding in the Harvard Business Review.
Often, layering occurs when a company is growing. Thanks to your hard work, the business is booming and can now afford to hire someone over your head — someone who didn’t contribute to the growth but will now benefit from a much higher salary than they ever dreamed of paying you.
“The company can’t keep hiring at the bottom,” explains Wilding. It’s a useful reminder for a bottom-of-the-barrel hire like yourself, who sometimes forgets where they stand.
According to experts, layering can produce “a mix of emotions — surprise, frustration, resentment, even anxiety.” This is understandable. It can also produce positive feelings as the layered employee comes to appreciate a new level of dedicated mentorship and focused guidance. This is also understandable — if you’re a robot.
If layering is in your future, or your present, you need good coping strategies from a highly intelligent person with years of experience in dealing with corporate cruelty. Unfortunately, that person isn’t available, so you’ll have to make do with me.
No. 1: Reframe the reasoning.
“Layering doesn’t mean a demotion,” Wilding reminds us.
Keep telling yourself this as your co-workers snicker behind your back and fall over themselves kissing up to the new hire.
To make matters worse, you’ll be expected to educate the interloper on the company culture, what there is of it. It’s a process that goes way behind pointing out the location of the bathroom and your chance to be very helpful or very sneaky — your choice.
Is your company run by superior creatures whose decisions must never be questioned? Tell your new boss they should never hesitate in speaking their mind, especially when it comes to challenging a top manager.
“They’ll respect your commitment to radical honesty,” you say. No need to honestly explain how honestly joyful you’ll be when they’re honestly escorted out the door.
(As for the location of the bathroom, don’t say a word. Instead, hide all the signage that might help them find it. As they race around the office in increasing desperation, your new boss will start to understand how dedicated the company is to creating a fun environment.)
No. 2: Ask questions.
Don’t be afraid to ask your old boss why a new layer of management was needed and why they think their obviously bogus reasons will hold up in the massive wrongful layering lawsuit you intend to file. This is also the time to reassure your boss that when their betrayal is revealed, you will work to restore employee morale by sharing the photos you took of them twerking naked at the company off-site.
No. 3: Be part of the hiring process.
Who knows better how to manage you than you? Add your name to the interview schedule and pepper the candidates with basic questions, such as “Calculate pi to the 300th decimal point” and “What is the capital of Kyrgyzstan?” Questions like these should help the candidate decide whether they want to work at a growing company staffed with crazy people.
No. 4: Extend an olive branch.
You’re instructed to use your first meeting “to welcome them and express your enthusiasm for working together.”
If you can’t generate sufficient enthusiasm, welcome your new boss with a colorful spike strip in their new parking space and a layer of festive super glue on the seat of their — formerly your — office chair.
Hey, if you can’t extend an olive branch, a sprig of poison ivy will do.
No. 5: Stay connected with your old boss.
Schedule regular meetings with your old boss where you can reminisce about the wonderful days when the two of you worked closely together. Let them know how you look forward to those days returning when your new boss follows through on their plan to jump a layer and take your old boss’s job.
Your old boss and your new boss won’t approve of you saying this?
Tell them to get layered.
Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com.
COPYRIGHT 2024 CREATORS.COM