Bob Goldman
“Think outside the box.”
That’s what everyone says you should do. But what you if you’re the kind of workday weirdo that likes the box — that cozy, comfy box and the eye-of-the-hurricane sense of calm that comes when you’re tucked inside and no one can get you?
No one except a rule-breaker.
Rule-breakers are the hurricane. Ignoring company policies is their policy. They can’t make progress unless they’re making trouble.
Working with people like this can ruin your day. Managing people like this can ruin your career.
For help dealing with rule-breakers, meet Melody Wilding, the author of “Five Ways to Deal with a Colleague Who Doesn’t Respect Rules,” a recent post on the website of the Harvard Business Review.
“Dealing with difficult people, including rule-breakers, is a fact of corporate life,” executive coach Wilding writes. “Unfortunately, you just can’t march up to them and demand they stop ignoring standards. You need to address the issue without creating hostility or damaging your working relationship.”
And what are the five ways to deal? I could break my rule and give you helpful advice, but that’s not our policy at Work Daze HQ. So, I’ve added a smidgen of unhelpful advice. Follow it at your own risk.
No. 1: Put your colleague’s penchant for skirting the rules in perspective.
Yes, your rule-breaking co-worker could be “lazy, careless, or deliberately inciting problems.” They could also be having a bad day (or week or year). Instead of reacting angrily, offer to help.
“You’re obviously having personal problems,” you should say. “Is it your destructive relationships, your cratering career, your complete financial meltdown coming right around the corner? Take the afternoon off and fix your life. We’ll start fresh tomorrow morning.”
(Be careful — your colleague could be a nepo-employee, related to the CEO. If this is true, the person who is breaking a rule is you. You’re breaking the rule that says if you say anything that could make someone higher up in the company angry at you, keep your yap shut. That’s a rule no one can afford to break.)
No. 2: Have a curious conversation before a confrontation.
“Open with a non-confrontational question that invites discussion,” Wilding suggests. Delve into the rule-breaker’s attitude to process and protocols or ask for their advice on how things could be done better. Use positive questions that show you care, such as “Your inability to follow rules has us concerned. The team has been discussing it, and we’ve decided that you are either a complete idiot or that your body been occupied by an alien from Canopus Alpha in the Triangulum Galaxy.”
If the rule-breaker grows an extra head and reveals they are covered in reptile skin, you’ve got your answer.
No. 3: Explain the purpose.
Rules are not made in a vacuum. Rules are made so managers can find things that you are doing wrong and fire you. If this argument doesn’t fly, point out the ways that rules can be helpful. Turning in expense reports on time will make accounting think you really did pay for all those expensive client dinners you made up. Not replacing Excel with "God of War III" on everyone’s computer will reduce arguments over who gets first choice of doughnuts at staff meetings.
No. 4: Offer flexibility where possible.
“Consider meeting your colleague halfway.” Insist they follow 100 percent of the company’s rules to a "T", but inform them that they can be completely free in other critical areas, such as the color of their socks. It’s totally their choice, except for red and blue, which are too controversial, and forget green, which evokes serenity. If there’s one thing the company doesn’t want, it’s workers who are serene.
(This is why it’s best to not wear any socks at all, BTW, though this could lead to trench foot, a World War I disease the Cleveland Clinic says comes from being in a “cold, damp environment for a long time.” If a cold, damp environment doesn’t describe meetings with HR, I don’t know what does.)
No. 5: Stay firm when they ask you to break the rules.
Be ready to “assert your boundary” on critical issues, such as when you hear a co-worker say that eating french fries with ketchup instead of mayonnaise is a crime against nature, or that when it comes to rappers, Gucci Mane is a better than Pusha T.
In work, as in life, there is a time when you must stand your ground.
Pusha T knows that, and now you do, too.
Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com.
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