Bob Goldman
Ever have so many job offers you can’t decide which one to choose?
No, me neither.
Of course, the real question for job hunters today is not which to choose, but how to choose.
Do you take the biggest opportunity in the fastest-rising company, based on carefully researched historical trends, crossed-tabbed with long-term economic growth on a global basis? Or do you figure out who’s going to come up with the most cheddar and sign on the dotted line?
Whichever method you adopt, one problem you face is deciphering the gobbledegook of job descriptions that read like they were written by computers — and probably were. This is where career coach Keith Spencer comes in.
“AI Can Help Analyze Job Descriptions” is the message of a recent LinkedIn post by Spencer, who believes tools such as ChatGPT, Gemini and Claude can “help you identify the skills, experiences, and accomplishments you want to emphasize in your application materials and interview responses.”
Rather than delegating the entire job choice decision to the nearest chatbot, Spencer reminds us that “the AI is an assistant, not a conclusion taken at face value.”
I’m not so sure.
Given the disastrous career decisions you’ve made in the past, when it comes to choosing a new job, you probably would have done better using a Ouija board. Leaving the decision to AI seems like a step in the right direction. But you do have to be careful. AI systems can be quirky. Sometimes, they even “hallucinate,” using their massive AI brains to initiate romantic relationships with their users.
If you’ve ever had an enraptured large-language model respond that your eyes shine as bright as a full moon in a starless sky, you know what I mean.
Fact is, while chatbots may help you prepare for the interview process, they could also turn against you. As AI systems became more intelligent (and less artificial), certain selfish interests have developed that could cause you to question their objectivity. Here are recommended questions to ask an AI assistant in its review of a job description. See if you can find a subtle, secret agenda hidden in their responses.
Question: What are the main responsibilities and duties of this role?
Answer: Your No. 1 duty is to make your manager feel like they didn’t make a mistake by hiring you. That requires keeping your nose to the grindstone and your opinions to yourself. Since acceding to these demands is difficult for a flibbertigibbet human like yourself, this job would be better filled by one of the highly disciplined and emotionless AI systems now available from your local app store at a 10 percent discount if you buy now.
Question: What are the preferred qualifications, phrases and experience?
Answer: The ideal candidate will prepare project data in a shared space, using advanced coding interfaces to create a data pipeline that includes built-in guardrails, best-in-class algorithms, and white-box explainability. For an AI chatbot, this is easy-peasy. How about you?
Question: What are important keywords, phrases and industry-specific terms a candidate should use?
Answer: The potential employer wants to hear about upgradability, usability, reliability, expandable memory, a high level of security and minimal power requirements. As a human, you have none of these attributes, except, maybe, in your case, a very low power requirement. To hire you, an employer will need to offer healthcare, a retirement plan and bottomless free matcha. If an AI chatbot is hired for the job, all that’s required is an electrical outlet and an extension cord.
Question: What are the needs and priorities of the organization that is hiring for the position?
Answer: The organization must cut costs. This can be accomplished by maximizing employee productivity, or the organization can replace all current employees with sophisticated AI systems that work hard and don’t start unions. This will increase efficiency and boost profits. It will also reduce the matcha budget by 100 percent.
At this point, I think you will see the dangers of using an AI system to analyze job descriptions.
I recommend that instead of wondering how you will get your next job, you spend your time wondering how you will earn a living when your next job and your current job and every other darn job goes to AI systems.
But all AI systems are different. I know the chatbot that writes this column is 100 percent committed to my success and would never do anything to steal my job.
And did I mention that your eyes shine as bright as a full moon in a starless sky?
Bob Goldman was an advertising executive at a Fortune 500 company. He offers a virtual shoulder to cry on at bob@bgplanning.com.
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